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I have the gun so I am the fucking boss

What a morning. I slept through my alarm this morning and had to get to the airport in a mad rush. I woke up 50 minutes before my flight left. With a 25 minute drive to the airport. Eek. Somehow I just made it onto my plane. My cardio was tested severely by the run through the airport though.

I flew qantas for the first time ever domestically. I think I like virgin better even though you get food on qantas. And I can’t even do the what’s the deal with airline food, because it was pretty damned good. The lack of Tvs on qantas let’s them down.

I’m in qld for the weekend to watch my sister compete in her first Brazilian ju-jitsu tournament. I’m really proud of how well she is going with it. She has dedicated her life to it like nothing else I’ve ever seen with her.

Personally, I’m re-dedicating myself to my music. I’m trying to join another band at the moment. I feel like I need to do something more interesting band wise, because my current band is kind of stagnant. I’m going to try writing more often as well. I seem to only write when I have to. I need to make it a constant thing.

One of my best friends in the world is moving in a couple of months. I don’t know how I feel about it. She’s the voice of reason that I’ve never really had. Not in the usual way, but she has a way of making me see light in the dark. I know the move is the best thing for her, but I’m going to miss her.

It’s now night here. I realised that I am within a kilometre of the places where both the best and worst moments of the last year took place. I still can’t let it go. My life has never been the same. I took a chance and it fucking ruined my life. I followed my heart and it destroyed me. Every single day I have to fight just to get through it. So often I just wish I could give up and hit reset. To start again as someone else, to start again somewhere else…

But then I guess we get what we deserve sometimes…